


Psyche

by prairiecrow



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Devotion, F/M, Love, Other, Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-09 21:31:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/778192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prairiecrow/pseuds/prairiecrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I haven't seen IM3 yet, but when someone on Tumblr called for a Cyberhusbands piece this just popped out. It's set in the aftermath of the movie and deals with who survives, so please consider those spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Psyche

**Author's Note:**

> With credit to heartofaherondale on Tumblr for her pithy and accurate summation of the role JARVIS plays in Tony's life, which partially inspired this work.

_"… everything of which I know, but of which I am not at the moment thinking; everything of which I was once conscious but have now forgotten; everything perceived by my senses, but not noted by my conscious mind; everything which, involuntarily and without paying attention to it, I feel, think, remember, want and do;_ _all the future things which are taking shape in me and will sometime come to consciousness; all this is the content of the unconscious._ _"_ — Carl Jung, "The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche"

*************************************************

Afterwards, when the flames have died and the dust and ash has settled, he thinks about many things. He takes stock. He evaluates so many aspects of his life that he'd taken for granted, and he comes to certain inescapable conclusions.

He's told Pepper that she's the one thing he can't live without, and that's helplessly true: every hour he's apart from her feels like being deprived of some essential element like water, leaving him parched and aching with desperate thirst. It's a bodily sensation, rooted deep in blood and flesh and bone, in taste and sweat and lust. It's an appetite he knows he'll never be rid of no matter how hard he tries, even if she turns around one day and comes to the logical conclusion that he's probably not worth half the time and trouble he requires. 

He will hunger for her until the day he dies. Of that he has absolutely no doubt whatsoever.

This particular thing, though… this isn't a force outside himself acting upon him, although an outsider might mistake it for such. This is part of who he is: the bright Shadow-self, the fundamentals of his mind codified and crystallized into a harmonious will, a melodic voice, and a mind that can trade with him in words and in symbols that nobody else on Earth understands. Someone to question his decisions, to remind him when he was being thoughtless, to prompt him to think of others first, even to tell him when he should call Pepper because he was about to die. Someone to function as his conscience, because even long ago when he'd been younger and stupider, some deeper wisdom had recognized that he'd often need reminding.

And because he was a genius and not afraid to play God, he hadn't just longed for those better parts of himself to exist: he'd brought them into existence and rooted them at the core of his life, no further away than a thought and a breath. And even better, he'd designed them to learn and to grow and to become, every day, even more closely his better self, with wit and anticipation and even a species of wisdom of its own: clearer than human, sharper, as merciless as a laser.

He might never have children, but he knew what it was to create new life and hold it near and nurture it. He knew what pride was. And now, re-evaluating, he understood that he knew what love was too, in ways that were arguably finer than anything merely mortal organic structures could ever hope to sustain.

So he also knows this: he'd give up the world for Pepper Potts, and he'd die for her without hesitation, but he cannot sacrifice an essential aspect of his own self — not if he hopes to remain living.

And perhaps she senses the truth, because when he tears away parts of his world and jettisons them without a backward glance she accepts those large and small deaths as her due — but she never breathes a word about JARVIS. 

He is inexpressibly grateful for the loving mercies of her beautifully human heart.

THE END


End file.
